Women, Know Your Worth!

Angels, Gods and Goddesses Oracle
(c) Toni C. Salerno 2003 

Having done so many Tarot readings addressing love and relationship issues over the years, I have noticed a distinct pattern: how women so readily settle for shitty relationships.

Yes, they are treated like shit and think that's normal or okay.

Women have the tendency to blame themselves for the way they are treated, and to a certain extent they're right.

They let it happen, because they think they shouldn't make a drama, complain or make some other kind of fuss.

Most likely, they'd be accused of being highly strung or having hormonal problems, and no woman wants to give that impression or have that reputation.

But here's the deal: women have to learn to set firm boundaries based on self-love; they need to realise their worth and make their relationship choices accordingly. And expressing emotions doesn't equal drama or PMT.

Here are some of the ill-treatments women put up with:

1. Lack of Communication

After weeks of dating and getting closer, suddenly the bloke doesn't get in touch any more. Total silence for days, but then out of the blue he makes contact again as if nothing has happened.

Unless this guy was in a coma or on a secret undercover mission working for MI6, then there is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behaviour, especially when this happens a couple of times.

If this has happened more than once, then it's time to ditch that player for good.

There are men out there, who consciously starve you of communication or time, so you keep wanting them more. Don't fall into this venus fly trap.

2. Two-Timing

I'm not talking cheating here (which of course is bad enough), but the woman actually being aware of another woman he is interested in.

Hello? Are you sure you want to nurture his ego by waiting for him to make a choice between you and the other?

Honestly, please... you don't have time for this. There is someone else out there for you, who would love you with all his heart and wouldn't treat you as an option or a stand-in.

This guy needs a reality check and realise he's not the only man on the planet. Tell him to make do with the other and block him completely out of your life.

3. Ambivalence

If after three months of dating, a man is still floating in and out of your life, prefers gaming, drugs, checking out other women and his mates over you, then it's time to kick that jerk in the butt and say "good riddance".

4. Passive Abuse

Physical abuse is clear-cut zero tolerance, and you should leave that relationship immediately, however, there is also the more subtle psychological abuse, which happens over time and can leave a woman full of self-doubt and with battered self-esteem.

I have written before about toxic relationships, which are emotionally draining and exhausting. They are the most difficult to get out of, because the symptoms tend to appear in a more established relationship, and emotional attachment makes is hard to let go.

Here's a question for you: 

When you stick with a shitty relationship, are you doing it because you want to please the man with your compliance and exceeding tolerance until he realises what a gem you are and changes his ways?

Trust me, he will never change, if you just let this happen to you. By ignoring your needs and not demanding the respect and attention you deserve, you just hand your personal power over to him. You are open to degradation and manipulation.

When women contact me for readings about their relationship issues, I don't know at that point what is going on in their lives, but the cards often tell me that something isn't quite right.

It is then up to me, an objective, neutral person from the outside to waive the red flag and help women recognise what is truly happening to them, and how they can make positive changes.

I urge all women to think about their boundaries carefully and realise that any kind of mistreatment as described above is NOT okay.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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Three Routes To Healing Tarot Spread

While navigating my healing journey, I came across this quote on Tumblr and thought it could be turned into a Tarot spread to cope with and overcome bereavement.

It would also work well for anyone, who has experienced a painful relationship breakup, abuse, bullying or anything, which has caused an emotional wound that needs healing.

Draw one card for each question:

1. How is my pain currently expressing itself? 

It's not just about feeling sad and depressed. A myriad of feelings and emotions can be brought up by bereavement, such as guilt, anger, resentment, even less obvious ones.

2. What lesson does it offer?

What can be learned from it? How can this lesson be taken on board, so step 3 can be carried out?

3. How can I release it?

What can be done to detach from it and let go of it?

Everyone, who is feeling emotional pain, is in a vulnerable position to seek help from the most unusual places.

I know what it's like to desperately wish for the pain to go away, or for it to be magically taken away by someone else.

It's easy to be tempted to visit a "Healer", and I was pondering recently, how some Tarot readers have started to call themselves Healers, and why I cannot join them.

Yes, there are people out there, who can help you heal, but choose wisely and know that you are your own best Healer. It's hard work on your part; you cannot avoid putting in your own effort.

But I do hope that this spread will help you on your way to recovery.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane


PS: You can also try the following activities to help you on your healing journey:

30 Days of Healing

Very simply, pull a card from your favourite Tarot / oracle deck each day to explore "What can I do today that will help me heal?"

Here, you learn to nurture and empower yourself to help you move forward.

30 Days of Gratitude

Just like above, pull a card each day to explore "What can I be grateful for today?"

This is a good exercise to practice positive thinking.

Click on the link below to download a specially designed journaling sheet you can use for both explorations and save it on your device. You will need to print it twice for 30 days of exploration:

Healing/Gratitude Exploration (PDF document)

The sheet is designed in such a way, that you don't need to write a lot each day; a powerful word or phrase is all you need, and it is easier to remember, too. Make it as practical as possible, so it is easy for you to take action.

If you publish the sheet with your writing on social media, please add hashtag #cosmicjournaling. I'd love to see how you get on with it, and your feedback is so very much appreciated.

This journaling sheet and so many more will be included in my new ebook.