Coping with Impermanence

If you're like me and enjoy visiting New Age / spiritual blogs, perhaps you have also noticed that many of them are just too positive.

The writers of these blogs always seem to be happy, enjoying strolls along the beach and taking snapshots of sunsets and playing dogs, only to post them to their readers to demonstrate what a fabulous life they lead and how happy they are.

They keep mentioning their happy marriages and clever kids; the dinner they cook, and how well their business is doing.

If they do write about an upset, then it's about having run out of Shiraz for their Beef Bourguignon, or they bought a toaster without a bagel setting by mistake.

Shiny, happy people...what REALLY goes on inside them?

All these Mind/Body/Spirit blogs offering advice on how to be happy accompanied by photos with smiley people, who either walk along the beach or hug a tree, or they are in some sort of yoga or meditation position.

I'm guilty of this, too. You can find plenty of cheerful and "uplifting" posts here on my journal, but let me tell you a secret:

I have many dark moments. 

Often I am depressed. 

Sometimes I feel lost. 

My life isn't perfect only because I work as a Tarot Reader and help others.

I have issues. Some big ones, too.

Walks in nature make me feel sad, because they make me think of how times change and what once was and never will be again.

I keep thinking about the inevitability of death as I'm fast approaching my 50th birthday.

Halloween Tarot (c) US Games Inc.

Hey, after all it's Halloween soon! Perfect timing to reflect on endings, loss, change and an uncertain renewal and unwanted new beginnings.

Let's face it; when a loved one dies, that doesn't always lead to a positive transformation for the bereaved.

All that can be done is getting on with life as best as possible, and that's not always good. Just hanging in there. Surviving another day...

Not the best shiny-happy website can change your situation, merely trying to inspire you to try new strategies to survive and make the most of what you have left, but you will still experience plenty of those dark moments.

It's ok.

You're not alone. 

Join the club.

When you ask me for a reading about your broken relationship, then I can sense exactly how you feel:

That quiet desperation and desire for the pain to go away. Yes, that pain is really bad. I know.

The hope for reconciliation.

The yearning for a happy-ever-after....

The last thing I will do is give you some condescending advice like you'll get over it soon. Perhaps you will, but it will stay with you and affect your life in some way.

Experiencing any kind of loss and recovering from it is a process, and there is no miracle formula to make it easy.

You do have a choice though how you want to deal with it, but yes, despite your best efforts, you will experience setbacks, doubts and insecurities.

It really sucks.

But you're not alone.

Behind all those shiny-sparkly-ecstatic façades out there is a lot of hidden angst and despair. If not, then they have no right to ram those love-n-light messages into your face, because they haven't truly experienced the dark side to know what life is really like.

Sometimes it helps to admit how you truly feel. What really goes on inside you. Letting go of the pressure to always appear content and leading a fabulous life. Because that's not reality.

Halloween Tarot (c) US Games Inc.

Reality is that life is changing constantly, and it can be difficult to cope with sometimes. 

I'd love to see those spiritual writers be more honest and open up about their struggles and challenges and how they handle them.

How they deal with setbacks.

When and why they shed tears (not because they chopped a particularly strong onion!).

Being imperfect.

Vulnerable.

That would make them human.

Revealing your shadow self, your own deep hurt can often be more inspirational than some happy-go-lucky tips on how to cheer up (I'm guilty!!!).

Me? Life has taught me to burst out in a sarcastic cackle more often nowadays when reading some well-intended yet patronising advice on the internet.

And yes, you'll be reading more about the hidden me here in the future ;)

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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Meet Your Shadow

Welcome to the Samhain Blog Hop.

If you have just arrived from Carolyn's contribution, thank you for stopping by.

You can jump back onto the blog hop train and continue your journey by clicking on the link to Amethyst's blog at the end of this article.

Samhain is an ancient Celtic festival that was celebrated on the first day of November and marked the beginning of winter and also the Celtic New Year.

As you can imagine, in the olden days this would be a dark and cold time; no wonder our ancestors would be thinking about death, ghosts and sheer survival during the harsh winter months ahead.

Today, we celebrate Halloween on the eve of the 31 October, which nowadays marks the start of the party season up to Christmas.

But if you would like to commemorate Samhain in a more contemplative way, then this year you may want to explore your dark - shadow - side, and what better way to do it than with a Tarot deck?

What is your Shadow?

It's that aspect of your personality you prefer to keep hidden. Weaknesses you'd rather ignore, blocked personality traits you dislike or may be seen as inappropriate by society; desires, fears, secrets, latent talents, suppressed emotions, your dark side.

At Samhain, the evening of Halloween, prepare to meet your Shadow and face it. Uncover and explore your hidden and true self. Acknowledge it, embrace it, make friends with it, release it or turn it into something positive.

Identify your Shadow Zodiac Card

First, meet your Shadow by selecting the opposing zodiac of your sun sign:

Emperor (Aries) – Justice (Libra)
Hierophant (Taurus) – Death (Scorpio)
Lovers (Gemini) – Temperance (Sagittarius)
Chariot (Cancer) – Devil (Capricorn)
Strength (Leo) – Star (Aquarius)
Hermit (Virgo) - Moon (Pisces)

For example, if Scorpio is your sun sign, then Taurus is your opposing zodiac, and the Hierophant is your shadow card.

Before you move on to the next step, explore your shadow card in more detail:

What does it say about your hidden personality, your fears, weaknesses and so forth? Explore the challenging aspects of the card. Which ones resonate with you?

Your Shadow is uncharted territory. And just like real shadows, it fluctuates, changes shape, becomes larger or smaller. Different shadow aspects come through at different times and in different situations.

For your Samhain exploration, pull two more cards that will focus on a particular aspect in relation to your zodiac shadow card and a task that may help you overcome or at least integrate that aspect into your life more comfortably.

Here's the spread:

1. Your Shadow Zodiac Card (see above)
2. What particular aspect do you need to focus on at this moment in time?
3. What can you do to make a positive change?

I invite you to take a glimpse into my Shadow world:

As a Pisces, my shadow zodiac card is the Hermit, which is also my personality card. What do these cards reveal to you about me that I would rather keep hidden?

Have fun exploring your Shadow and dark side with this simple spread.

Thanks for being here. Please enjoy more Samhain / Halloween explorations by visiting Amethyst's blog, and before you go, please consider subscribing to my feed.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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