How to Make New Friends as an Introvert

Tarot of Quotes

Answer: Go to places, where like-minded folk hang out.

You know it's easier to make conversation and connect with people, who share the same interests and are more or less on the same wavelength as you.

This year, due to circumstances, I had to go on a holiday on my own - eek!

At first I was at a loss and googled "holiday for singles", but I quickly dismissed that idea after realising the options available where pretty lame, and I'd take a risk ending up with bad company.

And then I had the idea to go on a spiritual retreat and found a Buddhist retreat centre in Shropshire. The solution to my problem!

I'm an introvert. I hate noise, party animals, too much booze, flashing lights, shallow conversations...

Having booked myself on the week long women-only retreat, I knew I could let my hair down, forget the make-up and not have to wear a bra.

And I was looking forward to more stimulating conversations, too, without worrying about people's reaction when I disclosed that I was a Tarot Reader.

I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. What have I learned from it?

• You can go on holiday on your own, but you won't be alone when going on retreat
• Be open-minded about community living. Sharing a room with three other ladies may seem risky to some, but I had the most loveliest room mates.
• Nurturing and sustaining spiritual friendships is important to overcome times of isolation and is helping you grow.
• There never was a moment when I missed TV or the internet. It was so refreshing to be away from it all completely. If World War III had broken out, I wouldn't have known. There was no radio either.
• Going on retreat doesn't mean you do nothing for a week. I was busy meditating for hours each day, doing Tai Chi and Qigong, going for walks in the surrounding beautiful countryside and helping in the kitchen for an hour every day.
• Vegan food is delicious! A strict vegan diet for a week made me lose 4 lbs. As soon as I got back home though, I needed to have a ham sandwich with a boiled egg.
• Buddhism is a gentle and inspirational spiritual path. I learned to practice the Metta Bhavana (loving kindness) in meditation and had an interesting déjà vu when we talked about the Path of Individuality (very similar to the Fool's Journey in Tarot).
• Silence can be nourishing and promotes mindfulness. Rather than constantly yapping away and being exposed to all kinds of noise, hours and even days of imposed silence created a whole new level of calmness and relaxation. For an introvert like me, there was no need to make conversation. And strangely, we all started to develop a different and more subtle way to communicate. 
• I'm not really into rituals, but I enjoyed the chanting walking meditations, the "letting-go" fire ritual one evening, and the "planting a new seed" ritual the following day.
• For the first time I have experienced women as a loving healing collective rather than backstabbing hormonal b*tches. My faith in women-only groups (with the right attitude and in the right setting) has been restored. 
• It takes a few days to get back to reality once you return home.
• A retreat is a bit like therapy and it can be a life-changing experience.
• It's fantastic to stay in touch with the lovely women I've met and hopefully will meet again in the future.

Here I am, back in my world and getting on with work, home, family and social life. But something has changed. It all feels a bit different now. The retreat has been a kind of journey, and I feel all the richer for it. 

Warmest wishes,

Christiane 

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Cosmic Spirit Tarot and Wellness

 

Overcoming Loneliness

Sirian Starseed Tarot

"All the lonely people,

where do they all come from?

All the lonely people,

where do they all belong?"

The Beatles, Eleanor Rigby

I've had my fair share of feeling lonely in my life. As an only child, I was mostly surrounded by adults when I was young, and even though my parents and elderly relatives loved me, I sometimes missed the company of friends at weekends and during the school holidays.

But unbeknown to me at the time, experiencing loneliness in my childhood developed my resilience and resourcefulness to overcome it.

I have learned to enjoy my own company and turn loneliness into blissful solitude. I'm a true Hermit personality after all!

In addition, despite being an introvert person, I nowadays don't shy away from getting out there and make new friends.

Loneliness will affect us all at one point in our lives, especially after the loss of a loved one or a relationship breakup. It can also be experienced, when moving away to a new town, where you don't know anybody.

Yet despite millions of people going through such upheaval in their lives, loneliness seems to be a taboo subject. Nobody wants to admit that they feel lonely. Everybody pretends to be busy and living exciting lives. The reality is often different and rarely properly addressed and resolved.

If you are going through prolonged periods of loneliness, here are some tips to help you overcome it:

Simply Deep Tarot

1. First of all, you need to know that feeling lonely is a choice. It's not something you need to put up with. You can beat loneliness by changing your mindset and also take some practical steps.

2. Don't be ashamed to admit that you feel lonely. Tell a friend, a family member or work colleague you trust. You will be surprised about people's reaction; most of them will want to help you.

3. When you work all day in a busy environment and come home in the evening to an empty house, loneliness can easily overcome you, especially when you have dinner by yourself.

You have two choices to deal with this: either you feel sorry for yourself, or you appreciate your time alone as a welcome opportunity to relax and unwind from a hectic day at the office.

4. Learn to enjoy your own company; this is often a challenge after a relationship breakup, when suddenly your partner is no longer there for companionship. Yes, this is tough at first, but it will get better in time. Gradually, you start enjoying your big bed and the absence of someone snoring next to you.

5. Loneliness is an opportunity for you to get out of your comfort zone. Reaching out and making new friends can be a daunting thought, but you need to give yourself that little push and get out there. You are not the only one feeling alone; check out Meet-Up and other online socialising platforms to find new friends in your local area. Activities range from meeting for drinks, restaurant meals, cinema and day trips to holidays abroad.

6. Sometimes mental health problems such as depression and anxiety can turn a person into a recluse, due to lack of energy or feeling scared to leave the house. If you think this is you, then your first step is to see your GP, who may refer you to a local peer support group.

Humans are social creatures. The best way to overcome loneliness is by connecting with people, but also create balance with quality, nourishing me-time.

The video clip below is an inspirational message to all the lonely people out there. If you are one of them, please watch it. I'm sure you'll love it.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

Connect with me on:

Substack - Live more Magic

Medium - Simplify your Life

Ko-Fi - Creative Tarot Journaling

Cosmic Spirit Tarot and Wellness