Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Overcoming Loneliness

Sirian Starseed Tarot
"All the lonely people,
where do they all come from?
All the lonely people,
where do they all belong?"
The Beatles, Eleanor Rigby

I've had my fair share of feeling lonely in my life. As an only child, I was mostly surrounded by adults when I was young, and even though my parents and elderly relatives loved me, I sometimes missed the company of friends at weekends and during the school holidays.

But unbeknown to me at the time, experiencing loneliness in my childhood developed my resilience and resourcefulness to overcome it.

I have learned to enjoy my own company and turn loneliness into blissful solitude. I'm a true Hermit personality after all!

In addition, despite being an introvert person, I nowadays don't shy away from getting out there and make new friends.

Loneliness will affect us all at one point in our lives, especially after the loss of a loved one or a relationship breakup. It can also be experienced, when moving away to a new town, where you don't know anybody.

Yet despite millions of people going through such upheaval in their lives, loneliness seems to be a taboo subject. Nobody wants to admit that they feel lonely. Everybody pretends to be busy and living exciting lives. The reality is often different and rarely properly addressed and resolved.

If you are going through prolonged periods of loneliness, here are some tips to help you overcome it:

Four of Swords, Simply Deep Tarot
Simply Deep Tarot
1. First of all, you need to know that feeling lonely is a choice. It's not something you need to put up with. You can beat loneliness by changing your mindset and also take some practical steps.

2. Don't be ashamed to admit that you feel lonely. Tell a friend, a family member or work colleague you trust. You will be surprised about people's reaction; most of them will want to help you.

3. When you work all day in a busy environment and come home in the evening to an empty house, loneliness can easily overcome you, especially when you have dinner by yourself.

You have two choices to deal with this: either you feel sorry for yourself, or you appreciate your time alone as a welcome opportunity to relax and unwind from a hectic day at the office.

4. Learn to enjoy your own company; this is often a challenge after a relationship breakup, when suddenly your partner is no longer there for companionship. Yes, this is tough at first, but it will get better in time. Gradually, you start enjoying your big bed and the absence of someone snoring next to you.

5. Loneliness is an opportunity for you to get out of your comfort zone. Reaching out and making new friends can be a daunting thought, but you need to give yourself that little push and get out there. You are not the only one feeling alone; check out City Socializer and Meet-Up to find new friends in your local area. Activities range from meeting for drinks, restaurant meals, cinema and day trips to holidays abroad.

6. Sometimes mental health problems such as depression and anxiety can turn a person into a recluse, due to lack of energy or feeling scared to leave the house. If you think this is you, then your first step is to see your GP, who may refer you to a local peer support group.

Humans are social creatures. The best way to overcome loneliness is by connecting with people, but also create balance with quality, nourishing me-time.

The video clip below is an inspirational message to all the lonely people out there. If you are one of them, please watch it. I'm sure you'll love it.

Warmest wishes,


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