Cupid's arrow doesn't always strike on your first date, but there are signs that indicate promising potential |
Candice Proctor, Whispers of Heaven
In a world of internet dating and virtual matchmaking, finding new love that lasts can be quite an eventful journey ranging from fun to traumatic.
Especially when you find yourself single after a long-term relationship has come to an end, figuring out if a potential match is worth pursuing can be confusing.
First of all, remember that sexual attraction doesn't necessarily mean you are compatible. When passion fizzles out, there may not be much else left. Get to know each other first, unless a casual fling is all you want.
On the other hand, don't expect love at first sight when you meet someone. If you get on really well together, but haven't been blown off your feet, then don't give up just yet. Meet up for a few more social activities and see where it takes you.
This is the kind of date where often confusion sets in; you're expecting a surge of passion hitting you as soon as you see the person, but instead you have to get used to the fact that their 3D appearance is somewhat different to the photo you've seen of them before.
But fear not!
Here are some signs that help you focus and indicate you may be on to a winner:
1. Conversation flows naturally, and you feel at ease with each other.
2. You don't experience awkward silences, and if you do on your first date, it's only because you're nervous. That's normal. However, that nervousness gets quickly dissolved, because you both sense how you can make the other feel more relaxed.
3. You keep in touch regularly via text, phone or email at a level you both feel comfortable with. You don't need to wonder, when the other will be in touch again, and you don't feel like you'd rather not respond and only do so, because you want to be polite.
4. Even if you haven't yet fallen head over heels in love, you actually look forward to seeing the other again soon, and you feel excited about the social activities you have planned together.
5. You are both happy to take things slowly and want to get to know each other first before you commit to anything further. There is no pressure.
6. You feel safe and relaxed in the other's presence. You can be yourself, and you feel you don't need to pretend.
7. You both find it easy to talk about the kind of relationship you want. You are honest about your aspirations rather than telling the other what you think they'd want to hear.
8. You both share similar beliefs and values, and you enjoy healthy debates on topics you don't agree on.
9. You don't judge the other by their likes of music, books or hobbies, unless they are extreme and don't comply with your core values, or you want to live like Siamese twins spending every minute together.
10. You feel a little spark slowly igniting every time you meet the other.
In many cases you know after the first or second meeting, if it's going anywhere or not, but sometimes the future potential of a new date isn't that clear straight away.
1. Conversation flows naturally, and you feel at ease with each other.
2. You don't experience awkward silences, and if you do on your first date, it's only because you're nervous. That's normal. However, that nervousness gets quickly dissolved, because you both sense how you can make the other feel more relaxed.
3. You keep in touch regularly via text, phone or email at a level you both feel comfortable with. You don't need to wonder, when the other will be in touch again, and you don't feel like you'd rather not respond and only do so, because you want to be polite.
4. Even if you haven't yet fallen head over heels in love, you actually look forward to seeing the other again soon, and you feel excited about the social activities you have planned together.
Tarot of Silhouettes (c) Steven Bright |
6. You feel safe and relaxed in the other's presence. You can be yourself, and you feel you don't need to pretend.
7. You both find it easy to talk about the kind of relationship you want. You are honest about your aspirations rather than telling the other what you think they'd want to hear.
8. You both share similar beliefs and values, and you enjoy healthy debates on topics you don't agree on.
9. You don't judge the other by their likes of music, books or hobbies, unless they are extreme and don't comply with your core values, or you want to live like Siamese twins spending every minute together.
10. You feel a little spark slowly igniting every time you meet the other.
In many cases you know after the first or second meeting, if it's going anywhere or not, but sometimes the future potential of a new date isn't that clear straight away.
In a nutshell, a good relationship unfolds and flows naturally. There is no pressure, game-playing, second-guessing, vague communication, tension or drama. If you experience any of these issues, you need to address them and quickly move on, if there is no improvement.
Of course, you can consult the tarot to explore the possibilities. Better still, add some astrology and see if you are compatible.
But best of all, use your common sense and look out for those signs above to work out, if you both have the potential of a happy future together.
“Whatever he had found, it made him a better person. Maybe that's what love was, finding the person who brings out the best in you and eliminates the worst.”
Diana Holquist, Make Me a Match
Warmest wishes,
Christiane
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Of course, you can consult the tarot to explore the possibilities. Better still, add some astrology and see if you are compatible.
But best of all, use your common sense and look out for those signs above to work out, if you both have the potential of a happy future together.
“Whatever he had found, it made him a better person. Maybe that's what love was, finding the person who brings out the best in you and eliminates the worst.”
Diana Holquist, Make Me a Match
Warmest wishes,
Christiane
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