5 Reasons Why Your Relationships Don't Last

“Like some wines, our love could neither mature nor travel.”
Graham Greene, The Comedians

Picture this scenario:

Girl meets boy.
Girl and boy start dating.
Girl and boy getting on well.
Girl and boy getting close.
Girl and boy having fun.
Boy leaving girl.
Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Girl starts asking herself: " What the f*ck am I doing wrong?

Girl then asks me for a Tarot reading: "When will I meet my soul mate / the one / my twin flame / etc." (What the f*ck am I doing wrong would be the more empowering question)

(Feel free to amend above scenario by replacing boy with girl or girl with boy according to your sexual orientation. Flip girl/boy if you're a broken-hearted boy.)

If you can relate to this kind of cycle of repetitive unfortunate events, here are some possible reasons, why you haven't found your happy-ever-after love yet:

1. You have an intense need for love and affection. Emphasis is on 'intense'. Feelings of loneliness are amplified, and until you finally stumble across Mr. or Mrs. Right, you will need to accept the situation, stop feeling pity for yourself and focus your energies on other activities you enjoy. And a good set of friends can give you a great deal of love and emotional support.
2. You have low self-esteem. You don't feel complete without a loving companion by your side. You are longing for someone, who validates you. Someone you can travel with etc. But you need to learn that you are enough, whole and complete. You can travel on your own and end up having a better time than with some transient lover cooped up in a hotel bedroom all weekend.
3. You have an inability to set boundaries. In the early stages of a relationship, before you get intimate, you need to be clear about what kind of relationship you both want, right down to the nitty-gritty details of sexual preferences. Sounds clinical perhaps talking about it, but trust me, it will save you from making some stupid mistakes. Bonus tip: Never assume anything.
4. You have difficulty expressing anger. Probably because you're just too nice and accommodating. You don't want to make a fuss, or seem to be 'highly strung'. You may also tend to blame yourself for being too sensitive. But by not expressing yourself, you are only lowering your standards and become a pushover. 
5. You ignore the warning signs that it won't last. Loverboy or girl no longer in touch as often as at the beginning? Still haven't introduced you to their parents / kids / friends yet after three months? Spending more time socialising without you? There are so many different signs you need to look out for. Tolerance may be your weakness here, and unless you put your foot down (see 3. and 4.) and end it on your terms, you will instead leave it in their power to treat you as they please. 

The question is now, how you can break the cycle and overcome your negative behavioural pattern, so you stop floating from one breakup to the next?

Why not ask the Tarot?

Shuffle your deck and pull a card for each question:

• Which negative behavioural pattern do I need to change? (relates to any of the five above, but the card may offer a more specific answer)
• What positive action can I take right now to shift my behaviour? 
• What do I need to avoid?

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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Just One Little Thing That Can Change Your Life Forever

Tarot of Quotes

"One new perception,
one fresh thought,
one act of surrender, 
one change of heart,
one leap of faith 
can change your life forever."
Robert Holden


Just one thing.

A phone call. 

A chance meeting. 

A rejection. 

A random act of something.

For me it was back in 1983, when I was nearly being offered an apprenticeship with a prestigious company in my hometown in Germany. 

It was the kind of job that would set me up for life. It was between me and someone else. One of us would get the job.

I had to attend three interviews, and each time it got tougher. 

Fancy putting a 19-year old through a management-style recruitment process...yes, I know it's outrageous, and that's exactly how I suddenly felt about it whilst attending the third and final meeting.

And I decided during the sometimes sexist questioning (those were the days!) that I no longer gave a shit.

Needless to say I didn't get the job.

I went to university instead. Travelled through Europe, stayed in hippie communes and just enjoyed being a free spirit. I discovered women spirituality and had my first encounter with the Tarot.

My final excursion was England, where I lived for a year as an Au-Pair before I returned to Germany to complete my studies.

And then I came back to the UK and have lived here ever since. 

When I attended a school reunion a few years ago, I discovered that most of my class mates had never moved beyond a five mile radius of their place of birth. Some of them even got married to each other (gasp!).

I wondered, how my life would have been different, if I hadn't mentally given up in that interview and then been offered that apprenticeship... 

So, dear reader, what is the ONE little thing you will do today that could change your life forever?

Don't know? Why not pick up your favourite Tarot deck and pull a card or more for some suggestions. Can you influence the next turn of your Wheel of Fortune?

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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What Makes A Happy Relationship? 10 Signs You're On The Right Track

Cupid's arrow doesn't always strike on your first date,
but there are signs that indicate promising potential

“I think perhaps love comes from finding someone you feel utterly comfortable with, someone who makes you comfortable with yourself. It's like...finding yourself, or maybe it's like finding the other part of yourself.”
Candice Proctor, Whispers of Heaven

In a world of internet dating and virtual matchmaking, finding new love that lasts can be quite an eventful journey ranging from fun to traumatic.

Especially when you find yourself single after a long-term relationship has come to an end, figuring out if a potential match is worth pursuing can be confusing.

First of all, remember that sexual attraction doesn't necessarily mean you are compatible. When passion fizzles out, there may not be much else left. Get to know each other first, unless a casual fling is all you want.

On the other hand, don't expect love at first sight when you meet someone. If you get on really well together, but haven't been blown off your feet, then don't give up just yet. Meet up for a few more social activities and see where it takes you.

This is the kind of date where often confusion sets in; you're expecting a surge of passion hitting you as soon as you see the person, but instead you have to get used to the fact that their 3D appearance is somewhat different to the photo you've seen of them before.

But fear not!

Here are some signs that help you focus and indicate you may be on to a winner:

1. Conversation flows naturally, and you feel at ease with each other.

2. You don't experience awkward silences, and if you do on your first date, it's only because you're nervous. That's normal. However, that nervousness gets quickly dissolved, because you both sense how you can make the other feel more relaxed.

3. You keep in touch regularly via text, phone or email at a level you both feel comfortable with. You don't need to wonder, when the other will be in touch again, and you don't feel like you'd rather not respond and only do so, because you want to be polite.

4. Even if you haven't yet fallen head over heels in love, you actually look forward to seeing the other again soon, and you feel excited about the social activities you have planned together.

Tarot of Silhouettes (c) Steven Bright

5. You are both happy to take things slowly and want to get to know each other first before you commit to anything further. There is no pressure.

6. You feel safe and relaxed in the other's presence. You can be yourself, and you feel you don't need to pretend.

7. You both find it easy to talk about the kind of relationship you want. You are honest about your aspirations rather than telling the other what you think they'd want to hear.

8. You both share similar beliefs and values, and you enjoy healthy debates on topics you don't agree on.

9. You don't judge the other by their likes of music, books or hobbies, unless they are extreme and don't comply with your core values, or you want to live like Siamese twins spending every minute together.

10. You feel a little spark slowly igniting every time you meet the other.

In many cases you know after the first or second meeting, if it's going anywhere or not, but sometimes the future potential of a new date isn't that clear straight away.

In a nutshell, a good relationship unfolds and flows naturally. There is no pressure, game-playing, second-guessing, vague communication, tension or drama. If you experience any of these issues, you need to address them and quickly move on, if there is no improvement.

Of course, you can consult the tarot to explore the possibilities. Better still, add some astrology and see if you are compatible.

But best of all, use your common sense and look out for those signs above to work out, if you both have the potential of a happy future together.

“Whatever he had found, it made him a better person. Maybe that's what love was, finding the person who brings out the best in you and eliminates the worst.”
Diana Holquist, Make Me a Match

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 30 - Selfie With A Divination Symbol That Represents How I Feel

It's the final instalment of this 30 day long challenge, and admittedly I feel a bit more relieved than sad. 

The pressure is over, and I actually completed the task of creating and posting 30 pictures virtually every day over the last six weeks (I skipped some weekends :))

Perhaps I should have chosen the World, but instead chose the Six of Cups for other reasons.... ;)

Thank you for having followed me on this little journey. You can see all my pics for this challenge by clicking on #30daydivinationpic. 

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 29 - A Card On My Heart

Temperance is one of my favourite cards in the Tarot. Here, it reflects what I desire to manifest. 

The image is from the Sharman-Caselli Tarot.

Christiane

#30daydivinationpic

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 28 - Glitter and Stars

My chakra window hanging crystal creating plenty of rainbow glitz and sparkle in my living room when the sun shines in at a certain angle.

Here are some fabulous hanging crystals available to buy in my shop. 

Christiane

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 27 - Swords

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 26 - Love Hearts

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 25 - Fairies

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 24 - Priestess

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 23 - The Number 9

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 22 - My Spirit Animal Guide

To be honest, I don't know what my spirit animal guide is, but I've taken a test, and the result was Bear.

I couldn't help but take a pic of the Bear card from the Druid Animal Oracle with my son's teddy. I've always been very fond of teddy bears, but who isn't?

And looking at the card above, I've just decided that the white border needs to be trimmed off....  

Christiane

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 21 - A Piece of Jewellery I Like to Wear For Divination

A quartz crystal and pearl bracelet.

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 20 - Favourite Tarot Bag

Tarot bags should be unique and have some magic about them. Be creative and make one yourself, or perhaps someone has given you a handmade bag as a gift, or buy one from someone you know. You could also pick up an usual bag in a vintage or charity shop. 

My favourite is a passport bag made from recycled sari silk fabric. The number of bags made of each design is limited depending on the quantity of the fabric available. 

The fabric shown is no longer available, but you can buy similar bags in my shop, where I'm also selling my handmade one-of-a-kind crochet drawstring bags.

The deck kept in this bag is the Tarot of Vampyres. 

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 19 - Favourite Card Backs

Light? Fluffy? Whatever critics say about Doreen Virtue's Tarot cards, it's one of the decks I love. 

Go on, treat yourself.

Christiane

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30 Day Divination Picture Challenge Day 18 - On The Rocks

Here's my sacred rock garden. The Goddess statue is from Glastonbury.

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